"When opportunity comes knocking, answer the door in your negligee."
"This would not be a problem if I were driving a snowplow."
"The analysis of the thing is not the thing itself."
"The difference between tragedy and comedy: Tragedy is something
awful happening to somebody else, while comedy is something awful
happening to somebody else."
"The good thing about being Dr. Frankenstein is that you can always
make new friends."
"Luck consists largely of hanging on by your fingernails until
things start to go your way."
"I'm content to stand on tradition. I'm even more content to wipe my
feet on it."
"If you hack the Vatican server, have you tampered in God's
domain?"
"The chief difference between horror fans and science fiction fans
lies in why they won't walk backwards. A horror fan won't walk backwards
because he knows he'll be knifed by a madman. A science fiction fan
won't walk backwards because he knows he'll step on the cat."
"Feminism is sort of like God. Many people profess to believe in it,
but no one seems to be able to define it to everyone's satisfaction."
"A scream queen is an actress who eeks out a living."
"Any sufficiently badly-written science is indistinguishable from
magic." (aka Allston's Corollary to Clarke's Third Law)
"There are two types of people in the world, and I'm one of them."
"No one pays me to be nice."
"When all else fails, complicate matters."
"Violence is the first refuge of the violent."
"The way to a man's heart is through his chest."
"Where can I get some tat? I'd like to trade it in."
"The principle of Sturgeon's Razor states that the simplest answer
to any problem is 90% crap."
"Definition of 'Free': You pay for it whether or not you elect to
receive it."
"Ennui and lethargy are waging a war inside me."
"I really can't complain about actresses who get paid to be dumb.
Most of us can't get paid to be smart."
"Lawyers are the first refuge of the incompetent."